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Relationships

No friends are as good as old ones! My old friends know my flaws, understand my personality and don’t hate me when I get weird and hyper and end up snorting when I laugh. We’ve been through enough to not get in a twist about little things. We have a good relationship.

      I wonder sometimes if I should even bother making new friends. Let someone really know me? Terrifying. What if they don’t like what they see? Or worse, what if they use what they know to hurt me later. It’s happened more than once.

      People can be MEAN. And cruel. And hateful.

      But I despise being alone. Such a dilemma. Do I let them get close, or push them away? Do I enjoy company or suffer in loneliness?

      Sometimes I wonder – does anyone feel like me? I watch people around me. They seem happy and confident and sure of themselves. Are they really that strong? Or is it a façade they wear? Do they go jelly inside at something new? Do I unnerve them like they intimidate me?

      That’s another reason I like clinging to relationships that have proven trustworthy. It’s less stressful.

      Of course, there’s the expectation in any relationship that I’ll do my part too. I keep their confidence and listen to their woes. But that’s okay – I mean, what kind of friendship is worth it if it only goes one way? You get out what you put into it, right?


 

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